The Adventure

 Today was a small adventure; the adventure of a retarded artist, in a car. Not an exciting or epic tale worth telling, but I'm gonna tell you anyway, since this blog never was about anything of interest.

Well, started off good this morning by waking up fairly rested. I went with my father to his job to pick up a car he just bought and drive it to a check-up to see if it's good enough to drive on the roads or not. I'm terrible at finding my way by car, I have a good sense of direction normally, but that doesn't help when the roads go a little as they please.

I had a map an pretty thorough directions, but by the time it was driving time, I was already tired and had a headache. But off I went, and it started out good, but soon turned bad as I started to follow the road signs and somehow (that I still don't quite comprehend) I ended up on an entirely different road. I had to take a big detour, with my father on the phone to guide me, but it went pretty smoothly, though I later on thought I had driven wrong, but I hadn't so I got instructed via phone the rest of the way.

Once at the car-inspection, I made a complete fool out of myself and I started to wonder where my sign was. And wrote "Stupid (this is my official sign)" on the back of my map. What I did was - note that I've never done this kind of thing before - I first off missed the giant sign saying what I was supposed to do and where I was supposed to park, being one hour early I didn't wanna pull up in front of the car ports, but I saw the huge "sign in here" sign and a parking lot over to the left of the building with a P-sign. So I parked there, neatly and orderly, and went in to tell the computerized system that I was there. Of course, I'm once again completely blind and mindless.

The point screen computer was directly to the left of the door, so I only sa a huge white thing in the corner of my eye, assumed it a closet or locker, and then there only was an office door, a toilet and one door on each side of the room to the workshops. A man walks through into the big workshop and I follow, thinking it might be a reception in there.

So I stumble into the big hall, looking lost, blond and very stupidly I ask where that check-in computer is. The youngest of them (probably only a year or two older than me) show me the computer, which I now see has very big letters on it saying "Register your arrival here". He asks me if my car is the Audi standing outside (a car arriving after me, it was completely vacant when I got there, hence a lot of my confusion; no crowd to follow/observe/learn from) and I tell him I parked on the side since I'm so early. He gives me a funny look then tells me to park in front of the ports and wait for my licence plate's numbers to appear on the screen (a screen I also completely failed to notice) and I reassure through some questions that I won't be in the way.

On the way back to my car, as I pass the P-sign, I see that it has a sign under it saying "Employees" and it dawns on me why he gave me the funny look. While I drive to the ports, I notice the big very pedagogic sign that was straight in front of me when I turned into the lot. Now I'm feeling really embarrassed - which is something I rarely do since I rarely act this stupidly - and it's here I write the Stupid-sign.

I wish I could say that the adventure ends there, but it doesn't. The car passed through, with flying colours I believe, and I'm going to drive the same way back that I came from. Of course I drive wrong here too. There's a road merging with the one I was driving on, making it look like a crossing with a road to the right. The road turns to the right and I was supposed to turn with it, but I just drove straight. So once again daddy comes to the rescue by phone and I find my way back to where I'm supposed to recognize where I am. Of course I misread the signs and drive wrong... AGAIN. But now I kinda know where I am and follow the road signs to a road I know inside and out, but it wasn't that one of the two roads I know inside and out I was supposed to get on. But all roads lead to Rome, right?

And for you in horror and shock about me being on the road; don't be. My driving is fine, it's almost on instinct. But being as tired as I was today, driving well was all I could do. Driving well AND read directions, not so much.

And wasn't it just my luck that the same guy showing the the automatic sign-in thing checked the car. All of my credibility was right down the dump (blond stupid girl with perhaps a rich dad since I was driving a Mercedes-Benz, who knows nothing about cars) so I didn't get to know more than "That's good" and "This is ok". But he looked a bit pleasantly surprised when he saw how well-kept the underside of the car was. I also surprised him with knowing what a catalyst (emission control device) was.

Now I just gotta patch my dad up after the whole burden of having a destinationally challenged child. He seems fine about it, but I said I'd have to be a complete retard not to find my way, in the morning.


About the weekend? I'll take that tomorrow.
Now: bed.

Tired, but happy

Today is Friday the thirteenth, and I've been pretty lucky today, when things fudged up, they still worked out fine and I had a really nice day.

The bad stuff was:
1. I couldn't sleep
2. I had to pay the bus fare downtown since I couldn't walk after a sleepless night.
3. The meeting took about 20 min longer than I thought and I had about 9 minutes to buy a birthday gift and recharge my buscards.
4. I forgot the code to the credit card so I had to use my normal card which wasn't thoroughly equipped with money for that.
5. I was certain I was gonna miss my train since I had 4 min to run a 10min walk. I still ran and tasted blood.
6. I had to buy more stuff than expected.
7. I didn't get to role play before I had to leave.
8. The gift I bought had chocolate in it, and I had forgotten the birthday boy was lactose intolerant.

The good stuff:
1. I had enough money for all my purchases.
2. I didn't miss the train; it left 6 min later than it said online, and I met a friend when I was getting on.
3. I managed the day fine despite being so tired I didn't know my own name.
4. Everything went as planned.
5. It was a really nice day.
6. I got some exercise.
7. The gift that had chocolate in it didn't contain any lactose.
8. I managed to catch an earlier bus home from downtown.

And what I did today was that I went to a meeting at the unemployment centre, then I met up with a friend who has his birthday today. We (him, me, his mother and girlfriend) ate some pastries at a café and then went to his place to play a board game he received an expansion of as a birthday gift. Then we made role-playing characters and had a lot of fun hanging out with some of his friends.

His mom is totally awesome btw. Never met such a laid back and openly youthful mother.

Now I'm home and totally exhausted. But I'm happy; it was a really nice day and I hope to get some sleep.
G'night.

Some change

Rejoice People!
It is thundering outside and I more or less just finished a quick gift-art thing for the ever so lovely choke. A vector made 0,5L cola bottle. I'm still a bit unused to working with vectors, especially when it's lineless.

Any other news? Nah, not really. I was doodling some last night, or this morning (which is night for me) but nothing worth showing.

I should be gettin' it on with the ponies I have left, but I needed some rest in general. The cola bottle just snuck in between. 6 hours it took me, in two sittings.

I had a nice shower yesterday and felt pretty productive although I wasn't.

Should try to get some exercise and move my legs and arms more, the arms hurt when I lay still and the lags have begun to swell around the knees. Not nice. And even though my ass is very jiggly, without muscles, it's a PAIN to sit on. I can really tell that I used to walk a lot before, now that the muscles are gone, but still pretty usable.

The other day we took a walk downtown and home, which is about 6km walk. I was completely exhausted when I got home, it's uphill all the way home, and we had the foods with us. Energy; completely used up, but the muscles had plenty more to give, the only thing hurting the next day was my feet that aren't used to being put pressure on, let alone those extra 8kg I gained last summer.

Now I'm gonna learn how to sing "Don't talk to strangers".

Take care nao,
Aizic out.

Taking it slow

I did draw a pony yesterday, but with my reversed day-rhythm it's all mostly done during night. I'm hoping on getting some colouring done tonight at least, but we'll see. Yesterday was more about the doodles I drew apart from the ponies.

The pony I drew

I got a nice offer from my very sweet cousin who had suggested me as an illustrator. It's not written in stone that my illustrations will be accepted, but it's a very nice chance, and I'm really happy she mentioned me. I'm gonna try this out with all of my heart. Hopefully, I won't make her regret her decision to recommend me.


In health news, I have gotten this cream to put on my hands, and so far it's doing wonders despite being terribly annoying and time consuming. I have to put that stuff on my hands, and plastic gloves on top of it for at least 1½ hours at a time, twice a day. Now, just because I wear gloves it doesn't mean I can use my hands, rather the opposite since I get that goo all over it when I put them on. So I basically have to sit for 3h a day and stare at the wall. Fun. I try to watch a movie or something in the meanwhile, but I'm running out of options. I've even been reduced to watching the newest "My Little Pony: Friends are Magic" cartoon. I'll give that the story and writing is by far better than the others, but I scream out in horror over the music and the the art style. And yes, it is directed at adults and children alike. But don't expect nostalgia, this is pretty much an entirely new and different show. Only similarity is that it's about ponies, magic and girlie stuff, and boys are there as some sort of fill-out every once in a while.

Movie recommendations are much appreciated. If I ever feel like my home is representable for guests, I don't mind some company. I'm glad to have cleared my kitchen of all the recyclables at least. So much space!

Next step; clear out closet!

Another thing going on in my life right now apart from all these ponies and being poor is that I really wish for my Foxy to get a job. Mostly for his sake rather than money. He needs to work, hard. It would also be nice to move somewhere new, throw out all the crap I don't need in the process. I want better water, drinkable water. I guess I want some change too. It's comfy living where I live now, but I want drinkable water. I never realized how important that is to me.

Well... I'll blabber more about it some other time.

Now on to some colouring!

Heh, no piccies

I guess I've been wearing myself down a bit with all the work. Today just sucked all life out of me and I got a headache. Now that it's night the headache has passed a bit, but it's still making my head feel like it's full of sand. Hopefully I'll get some energy later tonight so that I can keep working on the commissions.

But it's ok to take a slow day too I guess.

It's just that I've been so hungry today, so I guess I should start cookin' some food before I nom up all the unhealthy noms, that still won't satisfy my hunger.

So, have a nice night.

I'm making a note here; huge success!

Wow, I mean really; WOW!
This pony thing is going really well. I'm incredibly happy! And it's soo much fun! I'll give that I can't draw as much as I want to in one day due to my health, but I'm still having a blast! Colouring the ponies is also very useful practice. I know I've said all this before, but I just can't express how much fun this is.

Today I've done one lineart and two colourings. I coloured the lineart I made.

I coloured my fourth commission first; it felt like it needed some priority, being put behind a bit.

I've also been getting so many (it sounds like more than it is) orders now that I've made a proper commissions list for waiting line, what order which commission was taken and if there's a price adjustment (I have three commissions from before I changed the price, and they will have that promised price) as well as where I got commissioned and if it's paid or not.

This is the pony I made today by first drawing the lineart and then coloured.

In total, I've made 9 ponies now; 7 commissioned ones, 1 thank you pony and a surprise gift. It's a bit nice to see them all piling up in the folder. The only pity is that I will have to part with the originals, which is something I'm not used to doing, at all. I haven't sold art in this way before, therefore I still have every single little drawing-doodle since I started to draw. I'm not kidding, I can scan it and show you.

For those of you wondering why this entry is timed on the 4th when in fact it's almost 6am at the moment I typing this: I like to have the posts on different dates that's why. *Am a cheater*

Now I should really go to bed though.

G'night.

New banner!

Personally, I think it looks a lot better than the old one. Best one so fat actually. And yes, a pony. I made everything you see in it, the pen, the eraser, the paper... All done by me in detail. *boasts a little*

Today, for the lovely change, it was snowing this morning. All of the swedes went "Wat, snow? O_º " as if they've never seen snow before. I'll give I had to comment on it too, since it was snowing in may and that is indeed a WFT moment.

Artwise, today has been a success! I got a commission for two ponies from one person, and I finished the lineart today. It was a big success! And there seems to be more commissions rolling in, which is thrilling me way past overjoyed!

I did increase the price though; about €5 now, plus postage on that. But it includes the coloured pony. Originally I wasn't intending to colour them but... I seem to do it anyway. And it's good for me. It was my commissioners that encouraged me to increase the price.



I can't believe how lucky I am to get commissioned; it's a luxury given to only the chosen artists, the über good ones. Yet I - a n00b who is 100% self-taught - have that privilege too. It really makes me think I might have a future working with these kinds of things for a pay-check I can live on. I don't need a lot to live, but it's hard being an artist and trying to manage on it. Unless you're Beoncé or Bono.

Ah, one can dream, right? Tomorrow's project; drawing dragons and a pregnant pony. These commissions are getting me new and more works. It's so much fun and I hope it will last. I've been so uninspired before I started drawing these ponies. Now I are happicat.

But now; Bed!

More and more ponies, oh mai!

I've currently coloured 4 ponies, but I've made 6 of them, of which 2 have been bought. I have a new commissioner and on the pony front all is well. I've even upped the price a bit, on my commissioners demand. The ones who already ordered still have the old price (I have 3 in line which I'm just awaiting the information from so that I can start drawing).

Oh, and the poni on the lower right of the picture is a ponification of a game character as a thank you for getting 3 months premium membership at DA.

If you want to see the ponies better you can see them at my DA:


In other news in my life:
I broke a glass yesterday and today I went shopping. Woohoo. Very interesting. Well... My kitchen is starting to look nice again. I seem to always collect a tiny mountain of dirty dishes as I never seem to catch up to them. Mostly due to the limited space for drying, as I do dish a little every day.

Pity about the glass though; it was a nice glas. I liked it very much. And I'm not used to breaking things, so I'm really happy Ch0ke offered me one of his ♥

And yes; I AM gonna pretty up my blog banner. It's terribly ugly in my eyes.

~ off ~

Getting commissioned

Guess who's a happycat?

Well, not the pony... But rather the artist who made it; in other words me. I have been commissioned (and paid!) for two ponies now (this is not one of them, the one above is a freebee) and another one is on the way. I'm really glad that people want ponification portraits and can consider paying for them. They are very cheap, basically just covers the material cost, but I'm still getting money! Even if it just was a cent, it's symbolic!

Perhaps it will expand enough for me to make some profit and enable me to live on it a bit one day. That'd be my dream. One can dream, right? But for now, it's enough that some people have bought art from me. My most loyal costumer and several new ones.


The paid ponies:

Well, now I'm off to bed. Night.

Ponies?

So, well...

I just drew some ponies the other day, for no reason what so ever other than that I was inspired by this drawing. And then I went forth to draw one in paint:

And then, also for no specific reason, I drew a personification portrait:

And now I'm thinking about taking commissions for ponies. I'm poor and I really need some extra change, and change is exactly what it'd be. Because if I do the commissions, I'm only gonna take $1-$2 for the inked sketch. And I can consider making banners and all kinds of shiat.

But now I'm gonna go make a journal skin for my DA; I got lucky and got a 3 month subscription for premium membership on DA. Yay! :D

Bai.

Still want to redo the design...

I've been wondering for months now how I'm supposed to make the new design for this blog. I have many ideas, but no complete picture that I feel comfortable with.

Today was only eventful in the sense that I got up at 8am (normally I can't get up before 11-14, depending on when or if I fall asleep), the dirty oven set off the fire alarm, I went to work, but they weren't open today and thus I didn't have to work so I bought loads of candy instead.

I'm a bit bothered by the fact that they don't tell us anything about their open-times. And I have no idea how they plan on getting costumers since it's not up for them to read either. It's a "come and see if we're open or not" kind of thing they're running. They have had extra-open on Sundays several times without informing us, and then had the guts to complain that we hadn't cleaned. Sundays that aren't Sundays after pay-day are our only days off...

So tomorrow I will have to go down there and check if they've been open or not.

I'm actually more relieved that I've been laid off since the contract expired in between the cleaning company that hired me and the coffee shop that hired them. I sure need the money, but it's just a job that takes too much toll on me and doesn't reward me back at all. I've ruined my hands, my shoulder hurts, I never get any information from the shop (like changing the times they are open, extra open event days or that they all of a sudden decided to start building and expecting us to clean up the mess...) they constantly run out of trash bags since they don't order new ones in time, they steal our cleaning equipment and use it up/don't put it back, it ties me down here and makes me unable to go anywhere despite that I only work one hour a day.

Then they decide to not lengthen the contract and lets us know half a month before we're supposed to be out of there.

I can sympathize with them not resigning; that's just plain business. And I did have a colleague that didn't even do the job halfassed, and sometimes didn't show up at all.

It's gonna be fun to see what happens on the monday morning after we've gotten ourselves out of there, and nobody has been cleaning. I'm completely convinced that's what's gonna happen, it isn't the people at the shop that decided the cleaning thing, it's the management above that shop and a few others.

I'm glad I got to work there for exactly one year though. My boss at the cleaning company has been lovely and I can feel proud of at least having worked some and earned a little money (though it's not even half a rent, it's still earned money).


Oh, there was one thing that happened this morning; Well, midnight really but I was asleep then. I got a text message from a person I admire with a greeting from another person I admire. I have no idea how he got my phone number, but now I have got his.


Art-wise,  I'm still working on that vector CD cover. I tried to draw some bunnies for easter, but they turned out so poor, despite having references. Then today I doodled some from my head and it was actually cute. I dunno what that is all about, but lately I do better when I don't have a reference.

Off to bed. Good night.

Vampires don't like spring

Oh lawd did I have the headache of the decade yesterday! I think I had my first migraine.

And to connect with the title; Yesterday I had to go to an Easter-dinner buffet at the social service place I've been attending. Of course I forgot to bring my sunglasses, in a foolish attempt to cope with sunlight anyway. I'm extremely light sensitive, and I could just as well stayed at home stabbing my eyes with knifes. So I had a walk to that place, we had coffee after the dinner on the porch and I took a walk to the bus, then jumped off a bus stop earlier and walked the last bit home. All in order to enjoy the weather to the maximum.

Then I came home, and felt a bit fuzzy in the head so I lad down. When I woke up (in time to go work) I sat up and it felt like someone hit me in the head with a brick. And It kept on all night almost. But when I woke up around 10am today, it had become a little better. It still hurts, but at least I can manage it now.

So, all the work I was gonna put down on this piece:

yesterday well... It didn't happen. I hope to get to work on it later today.

She's not gonna have green hair, it's just a working colour for now. It's gonna be black and have some green shimmering. I'm gonna go see if I can catch me someone to give me some good CC (constructive criticism).

Kthxb

Unemployed

Well, 3rd night at this mentally deserted island (the only alternative nickname is hell-hole) and I actually managed to sleep 3 whole hours tonight! I'm impressed with myself. On the other hand; I was so tired I would have torn out my own hair if I didn't get at least an hour's sleep.

Got a call from my boss yesterday where she said I had to be laid off due to the contract I'm hired on is expired and the ones hiring us doesn't want to renew it. Simple reason. I got to work for a year at least, that's always something and I'm glad for it.

I'm hoping to find some kind of part time job to fill out my economy with. I'm not very picky in the mind, but in the body. The kind of job I could do doesn't exist >_<

I'm finally gonna go home tonight/this afternoon. Although I do like being seclude here, far from everyone else, I don't like the very annoying fact that I can't sleep and I don't have my Foxy.

If I don't get cuddles when I get home, I'm gonna tie him down and... well uh... I don't think I have any good punishments that will work in my favour... But on the other hand, I'm pretty sure I'll get my will's way.

On that mentally deserted island

So, last night I went to my father's place. As usual I didn't get to sleep, but bleh. It was the best night here in a long time. I don't know why I can't sleep here, it's quite frustrating since there's everything comfy here; nice comfy beds, cuddly kittehs and remoteness that gives a nice silence.

I'm gonna stay here until wednesday, since father is working night, and thus I have to check up on my little brother.

I started reading Bleach, I've been avoiding it like the plague after seeing all the fan art, but I've run out of things to read... So I took it up on me to see what it is at least. It feels like reading a comic someone made using the characters in all the fan art, but with a completely different story that has nothing to do with anything. In reality, it's the other way around. Wtf fans, seriously? I'm not trying to deprive the fans of their fanarting or anything but please, I had NO IDEA they used swords, or that it was all about fighting...

And It's way too over hyped, it's a pulling story and it's easy to read, but it doesn't make sense on so many levels and it's frankly not all that. But it's readable.

Now I have taken it up on myself to see if I can draw some fan art that actually could belong to the manga...

(I should probably watch the anime for colour references, but.. meh...)

Nothing more to say really. Gotta go kill the cats, I mean, sing.

Ranting about mind echoes

I really wonder why I have this problem with people who loath me. The problem is that I want to be friends with them, but they can't stand me. I'm really getting on my own nerves with this because I feel so miserably bad in those situations and I just don't know who to talk to. In a way I wished I was still 4 and my mother had been around so I could run to her and go all "mommy mommy, that guy doesn't like me but I want to be friends, what do I do?". Thing is, that never happened, and now I'm way too old for that. I still don't know what to do, or how to get over this "I have to make that person like me" feelings that I get.

In reality, I don't care. It's not my problem or responsibility to please everyone alive. I know that I'm going to be fuck annoying to some no matter what I do, but I just can't stop feeling so bad about it.

I have a recent person who doesn't like me. I'm not gonna say he hates me - like the one that makes me suffer the worse does - but I kinda got the hint when we met. I just thought maybe I could warm him up a bit if I toned down a bit and tried a different approach so that he wouldn't be completely anti me. Like "If that person's coming, then I am NOT". But I guess I misjudged the situation completely. In fact, it's a VERY good thing I kept as far away from him as possible when we had to share a bed-sofa. I thought he was annoyed because he's an insomniac, and I personally know how frustrating it can be when you're really tired but can't sleep for days. But nah, it was me. I was the cause of those arrows of discomfort that seemed to be launched from his body.

In the morning the one we slept over at asked me why I didn't cuddled up to him, since I am a very cuddly-friendly person who usually freeze like it was minus degrees in the room when I'm gonna sleep. I told him it didn't seem like he was in the mood for it and I was just trying to be as quiet as possible to not disturb him.

I guess I'm a bit hurt that I misinterpreted the situation. I'm not blaming him in any way what so ever. I personally find him a very intriguing person that I'd like to dig deeper into in order to hear his thoughts and views on things. It's not his fault that I'm fuck annoying, and don't have an off button.

I'm just disappointed in myself. And there's not much I can do now, other than keep as far away from that person as possible. It's all to respect his space, and to not make me feel worse from annoying him.

I'm ranting here because I just have to get it out of my system. I can get it off my mind without rambling about it. I wish I had someone to rant to, someone who could give me some feedback like "Now you're just being silly" or "You shouldn't do this or that, it'll just make the situation worse". I never had anyone like that. I don't have someone that I can feel "It's us against the world". I want someone like that. Maybe I was supposed to be the voice in someone's head, not an entirely own person.

I'm lonely, and I find myself so annoying, and I know I'm annoying others because I'm annoyed with myself.

Why can't it stop, why can't I stop?