Today I have been redoing the paths onto the fishes I made for likström.se and that was more or less what made me unable top post sooner.
And so I had a very enjoyable skype conversation with daethorian, gholen and two other people, one girl that took her leave fairly early, and one guy I embarrassingly enough never caught the name of. I really like those people, and they are good people.
Today's drama though was due to a person who was very mean to me. I did not really take it to hart in the first part of the "drama" which was when the person was stupefying me and degraded me of my value to raise himself to the skies. I am kinda used to that behavior.
Then, a few days later, he put in an entry to the designer I created the fished for with a "I will give you some rough sketches of the fishes tomorrow or the day after tomorrow" in an IRC channel called #likstrom. Since he had been talking so highly and "professional" about himself, I was worried he was going to steal the space so to say, and ruin my good mood that "was able to help" and "I did something nice".
Well, at first I was just trying to tell him that my fishes already had been more or less decided upon as I already had submitted them, but as he snapped at me though I was trying (kind of desperately) to keep a positive tone and trying to spare him some work and waste of time. Then I became unsure that my fishes were good enough and that they would be cast away.
It was at that point I talked to the designer, and asked how it was "have you two decided upon his work, or is mine still having a part in it?" and I told the designer what he had told me and that I was unsure and felt confused, which I did. The designer got really upset about what he said and did to me, and told me he more or less never really wanted that guy's work in the first place. He reassured me several times and helped me regain confidence, even though I felt bad about not bringing it up with the person it was all about.
I was being very careful not to spill any misinformation or take something out of context so it would make the guy seem worse than he is and I was very careful to not do foul play as technically from his point of view we were design rivals after all. But I still feel bad about not talking to him personally.
The reasons why I did not talk to him about it is that
1. I KNOW I would put myself in a weak position and ask for forgiveness for something that was not wrong; I consulted others with my issues I could not solve alone.
2. I am actually afraid to talk to him since he without exception snaps at me like a woman with terrible PMS. And for absolutely no valid reasons. At least women with PMS have a reason.
There are more reasons, like that I am a coward because I do not want him to throw another of his fits at me though I try to be nice, but I can not put them in good ways to reflect reality.
I feel horribly about not talking to him as I am an all cards on the table kind of person. I absolutely not tried to put him in a disposition, I just wanted to know if my work and happiness was going to be thrown away as he claimed to be such a good designer/shape giver. But I am well aware of how he could mirror it whilst being angry; he could say I was manipulating daethorian and some other people to get my things through, win sympathy and crush competition that way because my pictures were not good enough to stand up against his. I can see all the mean words before me, and I have no idea how to handle them.
True I did not think my creations could stand up against his, but I never saw anything he had made, because he was really dragging his feet with this. Right before I voiced my concern, I read that the guy had been talking talking DAYS before with the designer and it sounded on him like they had an agreement, thus my increased concern and main reason to voice it.
But turns out that guy has been going on the designer's nerves for quite some time, and have not been fulfilling his duties either. And pushing me down and snapping at me was the straw that broke the camel's back. Apparently he was not able to follow the simple guidelines for the design either which was a lively 2d fish that was simple and close to the copyrighted fish they had used so far just to have something.
In a way, his failure just makes it sad that I even voiced my concern as he never really was a threat, and I feel a little like I was kicking on someone lying down without knowing it. Dragging his ass was just really unprofessional and even though he did not get payed, it took him about 8-10 days to even do something to submit, something I did on my first attempt in one night... And I am a n00b. And the ones he did submit was horribly horribly failed, if I understood it right. I am yet to see what he made.
It is sad he will be getting a reprimand and loose his position on the site (instead of gaining a title) but it was his own doings. I feel bad about not talking to him, but I feel the support from daethorian and gholen, and I believe there is nothing more I can do but to start drawing on Young's character in the comic I am hopefully going to draw, which was the initial point from the beginning.
That said, I also must confess I really like all of the management of the site Likström.se and I have a lot of trust in daethorian (as daethorian is the one I have spoken the most to) and I feel privileged to be able to talk to them all and aid them in finding site bugs and creating art for them. They are exactly what I need right now.
Over and out.
