Tired and skinny

No art from me today either. Maybe tomorrow, we'll see.

I've been so insanely tired these last 5 days. I still think it's Sunday. All I've done is sleep, and when I didn't sleep I wanted to, badly. I can't focus my eyes and my fingers are all over the place when I type. Chatting is almost impossible since I type and press enter, and then I see that you can hardly tell what I meant or what I was referring to. It's a bit easier in this blog since I can see the red-line before I press send and can go back and change. I'm serious when I say that I've edited pretty much every other word.

I've lost weight too. I'm aware of how much I write about my weight, but it's because it's hard to maintain it. My body wants to weigh less than I should, so it takes every shot it can to make it so. I've lost one kilo this weekend, and it's been kept down because I've been too tired to stuff my face. I've still been stuffing my face with unhealthy food, but it doesn't really matter when I still don't fill my calorie quote for the day. And for some reason, I burn fat when I sleep. Not much, but more than I do sitting awake idling around.

What I want to say is; I'm not trying to rub my weight in people's faces. I'm mainly thinking about those who have a hard time loosing weight and are obese despite keeping a healthy eating habit. They are many and I feel guilty about being so skinny and having to fight to not loose weight.

Truth is, I should be fat. I'm heavy boned and I have a metabolism disease that more or less makes you fat. The only thing that made me gain weight was p-pills. So I'm mostly carrying water, that's why I loose weight so easily. I can't say my body shape is very flattering; I look bigger than I am. I'm skinny, but in reality I'm skinnier than I look. Why it is like that, I don't know, but I still have to verbalize my need for food so that I remember to eat. I don't get hungry, but I can eat when I'm bored. I'm too tired to eat now, but I do my best anyway.

No more babbling from me. OMG is it thursday already?

Dead on my feet, but happy

Today was one of the days when I actually did something. I went to the big city nearby to meet up with my best friend.

We (me, my best friend, a friend of his and his boyfriend) hung out for a while in his apartment before we left to go meet up another friend we have in common at the café she's working at (intern-ship, but work non the less) and had some "coffee". I tasted my first chai-latte. It was delicious, I could get into an habit of giving myself one as a treat every other month or so.

Then I went home, on a kinda hellish bus ride. First I almost missed the bus, then the bus was stuffed with people. I am not kidding when I say we were about 65 people on the bus, 15 were standing. I was pushed by a black woman constantly talking on her phone, sneezing on an old lady without even trying to cover her mouth, and I was caught in between two women not used to going by bus, constantly chatting about completely boring things. My feet was killing me after standing up most of the day and then the bus ride where I couldn't mode to relieve some of the weight from the feet. my bag was cutting into my neck, I was tired enough to almost fall asleep standing up, or I was just on the verge of fainting. It's a bit hard to tell.

I got home and took a nice long shower.

The end.



Well. something like that at least. I had fun and I got so tired, but it's worth it. I'm hoping for a good night's sleep now.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna rant about the retouch photos I saw in a commercial.

Now, bed.

In a sump... As if I ever wasn't...

Ok, there's been an awful lot of whining lately, and I can't really say I dare to look back at what I've written, but I never edit and I never remove unless asked to for one or two reasons.

I'm still in the fever mist, but I have some energy. And by "some" I mean I'm still tired, but not "I'm gonna pass out" tired. I don't think I'm running on minus at least.

But my feeding has been miserable. I've been shifting in between plenty unhealthy alternatives, such as ONLY eating salad a day, or only eating one pizza, given that there WAS salad on that one too... But it still feels... not good. Need to shop big soon, but I need some more money first, and some more health. I just don't know what to put into my mouth right now. I don't want to eat, but I have to.

I'm very bored with the looks of my blog. I want something more stylishly me... But I just can't take the time to rewrite the entire css code for this thing. I will try to learn how to, once I get out of this fever mist.

Tomorrow is the last day of work for this week. Then I'm off one week. Will be nice to actually be able to do something for a change.

G'night.

Just keepin' you updated

To sum up the day:
I look like a heroin whore, both in face, hair and on my left bend of the arm. I left some blood samples yesterday as preparations for the doctor's appointment next week. On my way home though, I needed to carry a lot of stuff and thus strained my arm, and guess what happened! Now there's a lot of blood under the skin like some ugly bruise. Not to mention the band-aid I had on top of it was filled with blood. Nice huh?

Also, I did my part for democracy by voting. I won't be home to vote on sunday so I pre-voted today instead.

So tonight I'm set up for laundry, but before that Imma make my special pasta carbonara.

And since I'm busy with all of that, I end this entry here.

Take care.