Tired and skinny

No art from me today either. Maybe tomorrow, we'll see.

I've been so insanely tired these last 5 days. I still think it's Sunday. All I've done is sleep, and when I didn't sleep I wanted to, badly. I can't focus my eyes and my fingers are all over the place when I type. Chatting is almost impossible since I type and press enter, and then I see that you can hardly tell what I meant or what I was referring to. It's a bit easier in this blog since I can see the red-line before I press send and can go back and change. I'm serious when I say that I've edited pretty much every other word.

I've lost weight too. I'm aware of how much I write about my weight, but it's because it's hard to maintain it. My body wants to weigh less than I should, so it takes every shot it can to make it so. I've lost one kilo this weekend, and it's been kept down because I've been too tired to stuff my face. I've still been stuffing my face with unhealthy food, but it doesn't really matter when I still don't fill my calorie quote for the day. And for some reason, I burn fat when I sleep. Not much, but more than I do sitting awake idling around.

What I want to say is; I'm not trying to rub my weight in people's faces. I'm mainly thinking about those who have a hard time loosing weight and are obese despite keeping a healthy eating habit. They are many and I feel guilty about being so skinny and having to fight to not loose weight.

Truth is, I should be fat. I'm heavy boned and I have a metabolism disease that more or less makes you fat. The only thing that made me gain weight was p-pills. So I'm mostly carrying water, that's why I loose weight so easily. I can't say my body shape is very flattering; I look bigger than I am. I'm skinny, but in reality I'm skinnier than I look. Why it is like that, I don't know, but I still have to verbalize my need for food so that I remember to eat. I don't get hungry, but I can eat when I'm bored. I'm too tired to eat now, but I do my best anyway.

No more babbling from me. OMG is it thursday already?