Some people are dumb. I'm some people.

I don't like being called smart when I'm just knowledgeable. I'm actually very dumb, and I usually stupify myself even more around stupid people. If I don't, then there are two scenarios that happen; I feel much smarter than the others and thus feel alienated because I don't live in the same mental world as they do, they think of me as smart and pretentious in a bad way. When I make myself seem more stupid, I'm still not at their level, but it's easier if they feel as if they are being tolerant and mature. If I accidentally say something smart when pretending to be stupid, it sounds really stupid too, no harm done. But if I'm serious, I automatically start to have deeper conversations. And everyone involved looses from it because they struggle to understand me, which I expect them to and get disappointed when they don't.

I'm not really that bright, that's why it's so annoying when people say I'm smart. I can rarely take it as a compliment. Actually, I can almost only take it as a compliment when I hear it from a person more intelligent than I am, but not always. Mostly I think they're either patronizing me or comparing me to someone really stupid.

But I can understand why more intelligent people like to hang out with stupid people, pretending they are stupid themselves; it's not to gloat, but rather to forget about being smart. It's not always a gift to be gifted. I personally can't do it though. There's no challenge in hanging out with stupid people, other than how to not seem much smarter than them. That is a form of art I don't master, and it's hard to do it. There are two levels of intelligence, and it mostly vary in between those two states; feeling smart and being proud of it/gloating and realizing your own borders. Overconfident and realistic.

Some know where their borders are, some just are aware that they are brighter. Within these two states, there are sub behaviours. Like the realistic ones in their actions underestimates themselves because they are too aware of their boundaries. And some who are overconfident likes to push down less intelligent people while others just enjoy being smart. There are more behaviours but I assume you understand what I mean. I'm at a level where I know that at the times I feel like I'm smarter than some, I know it's just because of my ignorance I feel like that. My inability to see what they're seeing makes me think my vision is the best; I can see any better. But mostly I underestimate myself. I know my boundaries. I constantly try to push them though. And because I know I have a far way to go before I'd say I'm intelligent, I don't like when people say I am.

I don't feel or consider myself smart. I think I'm standard, average and normal. In my mind everyone is like me and have my abilities. When people don't, it annoys me in many ways because it feels like they are making themselves stupid on purpose. Because; in my mind, they can do what I can. It's not a matter of intelligence, it's just like how I like to imagine things.

And one thing I think is really important to know is;
It's a big difference in between knowing and understanding. Just because you know something, it doesn't mean you understand it.

Now I'm done ranting for today I think. I can blabber on for days, but I think it's fine now.

Today I've been requested to change the resolution of a desktop I've made (and am using) so that someone could use it. It made me happy. I like when people want to se my art :)

I'm off to bed now.
G'night.