Laxabon Prt. 2

This is the second part of my too much information story. If you're still squeamish, don't read.





[Gruesomeness starts here]

19:02 1st glass of second round downed
Lukewarm it isn't too tasty. Not only is pretty much anything not very tasty lukewarm, geranium flower tasting water is - as you can imagine - much worse. It's like you have them in a vase, then put it in the sun a sunny summer day and then remove the flower and serve. Bleh! Thank heavens for the sweets!

I forgot in my first calculations that I would keep on squishing out stuff for one or two hours after I stop drinking the laxative. This means that I won't be done by 21 as I thought, instead I will be done closer to 23. Yay... I am going to reward myself with a nice shower and pretend this didn't happen before I go to bed, ensured that I am no longer effected by the stuff. I can't shower for too long though since I have to get up around 6 am.

19:12 2nd glass of second round downed
It has cooled down a little now and tastes slightly better... But it still is bad. Not disgusting, just bad. I have an even stream om small amounts of water coming out now. Sometimes I don't know if I'm pooping or peeing, sometimes I do both.

And my legs are numbing away. It's still painful though.

19:23 3rd glass of second round downed
I have changed my approach this time; instead of pulling down on the amount, I fill the glass as much as I can without spilling it when I move it. With that method I only have 2 glasses left, on the first liter. Then we have the second one... Bring it on! This time I am feeling the results already, which is promising in the sense that maybe I get off the hook earlier than expected. Not getting my hopes up though.

19:33 4th glass of second round downed
Oooh, tummy didn't like that! Maybe I should prolong the distance in between the doses? hurr... tummy not glad. Not glad at all.

19:44 5th glass of second round downed
It's getting more even with the let outs too. It's just poring right through. The last liter is prepared and I'll begin the first glass with the next glass. Feels refreshing to only have this last liter.

This is the first time I have drunk this much in a row. My butt is starting to get angry. Probably didn't have enough lotion on it. It's a bit late to reapply now since I am kinda busy...

19:55 6th glass of second round downed
Geh..! This one is warm too! Bleh. I am never gonna go close to those flowers ever again! Good thing I am not living with my mother; it's her favorite flower. Maybe this is a redemption for my sin of killing my own flowers? It's not like I mean to, but it's hard to keep them alive when 1. cats flipping them over and 2. I'm not at home. I should go get some cactus again.

20:06 7th glass of second round downed
Well, it's going down... halfway done now, more or less at least. I am not that happy. I long for my shower ant try to pass time at DeviantART.

20:18 8th glass of second round downed
Heh, forgot the time there a little. Tummy is not complaining, but my butt is; don't want to sit here any more. One glass left, maybe a half one after that. Then this shit is DONE! *can't wait*

It's drawing near! I am almost a bit excited to get the next one that will be the almost last one!

20:28 9th glass of second round downed
It's only a liiittle left in there now. I'll take it in another 10 min. Wooohoo!!! So tired of this shit!

20:38 10th glass of second round downed, LAST ONE!
Although it was barely half a glass, I'm done! Now I just to let it go through.

I suddenly realized I have been worrying about honey in the tea, but the sweets I am eating have cream in them! That might not be too good. I am going to be mad if it gets ruined because of that, especially since I could have done it without them!

Oh well... I'm sucking the last one right now. I will have to settle with that.

Well... I won't post much more in here now, unless something comes up, so...

G'night ya'll!

Fever.. AGAIN

I promised myself I wouldn't speak about my health any more, but it dominates my life at the moment. I have a slight fever 37,8○C (compared to my normal 35,9) and I can feel that I'm not going to feel too well tonight

I wasn't feeling good yesterday or the day before that. I guess I just have to suck it up, but I'm not happy, feeling like this. Also I have found a suspicious lump in my throat, outside of the thyroid and the sinew holding the head in place. I only have it on the right side and not the left. Also, it wasn't there before.

I hope my time at the doctor will come soon. I'm off to bed now though.

G'night

Working it out

I'm a bag of skin with bones in it. If I hit something it's the bone against the inside of the skin that hurts rather than the impact on the outside of it.

But I'm working on. Tomorrow is my meeting with the social worker lady. Can't say I look forward to it. This month has been shamelessly poor for me since I haven't received the payment from the unemployment-thing. Half this month's budget is gone. I am not going to make it if I don't get those money, and the people at the unemployment station haven't responded to any of my mails. In fact, I haven't heard from them in almost two months. I think it's rather alarming and uncomfortable.

But I am looking forward to going away over Christmas and new years. I will be served with cooking orders so I am ensured to eat properly. I can't wait to cook for more than two.

It's hard trying to keep up and at it. But I will keep doing my best. I want my muscles and health back.

Cheers!

Troublesome days

I have been having quite some troublesome days lately feeling like crap with all my nausea and such. I can hardly eat anything any more, living on rosehip soup and lemonade trying not to anger my tummy.

I have been quite active drawing but I am yet to post it here. So today you get a halloween picture I drew a few days ago.

Tomorrow is my uncle's birthday and I kind of dread the food, from my tummy's perspective, but I guess one meal won't hurt too much. I am most likely to survive it after all.

Piercing seems to be doing fine though I haven't clean it in one and a half day.. to my redemption I bough ocean salt for it instead of the normal salt have have been using so far. I don't know if the piercing is happy or angry, but it doesn't hurt, at all.

Shower tonight I assume. Will be enjoyable.

Over and out.

Oh... Oh my...

I had one of the weirdest dreams in a long time. I dreamed I had an Anubis mummy in my room in an old house of ours, and it was waking up, threatening to kill everyone it came across, unless I drew comics with it where it had a lover. Then my mother had moved and forced me to go to her new house, not allowing me to leave and draw more comics of the Anubis and it's lover. My mother (for some reason) had my father's kittens living with me, and they were toilet trained, but you had to watch them while they.. went on with their business. They pooped long worms with see through skin and whiteish grayish inside and an ink blue line along its inside body from head till tail. It as thick in the head, thinner in the tail, very disgusting. And disturbing.

The Anubis arose and were hunting me down, and for some reason I offered myself as it's lover so I did not have to draw all the shit. Then it turned into a killer whale and we were swimming in a swimming pool and it was happy. I was thinking about Foxy but in the dream there was no Foxy...

Very very strange indeed. Have no idea where any of the stuff came from. I mean.. Anubis? I liked the horror dream with computers in the same room better.

Shit happens..?

Well...

My Brother called me at half past six PM, and told me our father was in the hospital.

Apparently he has had a really bad stomach ache all weekend, and ended up so bad he couldn't move from pain. So it is not his heart, and when I talked to my brother they had no idea what it was, they had X-rayed him, but I do not know if they had the result yet or not.

I will try to go home tomorrow, and will probably go to my father's to tend to his cats, and pay him a visit at the hospital. I am hoping for the appendix, or something minor that will be resolved easily.

I have that typical "but he sounded fine when I talked to him on the phone friday evening..." and I feel guilty for not really asking how he was feeling. He asked me how I was since I am so sickly... I hope he will be ok.

...

Nudity

...Is really hard to draw. If someone has a tip on good places to learn from (like links to websites) that is not porn, I would appreciate if you linked me.

I have been trying to draw a girl-model of mine in a few poses, and I just fail miserably. I should really try some more tutorials in feet >_<

Other than that I do not have much else to add today. I want to shower and wash my clothes, but I guess that is all. Today has been a very weird day; I forgot to take my medication yesterday so I lost my mind today (it is only hypothyroid medication) and did some really stupid things, but hey; I can regret it when I can think again.

So I guess I will... Keep practicing?

Leeching

The subject of today, I assume, is being supported by someone else.

I am one of those proud/guilt-struck people that find it really hard to have someone else support you. BUT! There is a big but here; I am as it is not financed by the social security net here, and forced to apply for jobs even though I am ill and trying to get myself a doctor to cure me. I am today supporting two persons on one existence minimum granted by the social services, in a county that is very strict on the society's scum (like me who is young and unemployed) and forces me to go through things there is no way that I can manage.

Although, the subject is not about me leeching on society or someone leeching of me; the subject is about this situation;

A friend of Foxy's said he might be able to get Foxy a job, but then we have to move to where we are right now (around Foxy's home parts) which is more or less on the other side of the country. It seems to be a job that Foxy could do and be content with while I am trying to get health care and get well.

The thing is I would be so much at ease if that could come true. I could focus on taking it easy and getting well instead of stressing out over the crowded medical care and the pressure to get a job. But I would feel so bad about leeching and depending on someone else.

The good things;

• I get the financial monkey off my back
• I can get well in proportions of the health care synptom
• I will not be forced to apply for jobs I can not perform
• I will live closer to the capital
• Foxy gets to smash things.

The bad things;

• I will loose my apartment
• I will depend completely on Foxy
• I will not have any own income, at all
• I will move to the other side of the country
• I loose access to a car
• My guilt of having someone else support me

I would really be in the hands of Foxy and at Foxy's mercy. As everyone that knows me knows; I have a really hard time trusting people. But I can easily work against the cons.

And just because I was ranting about it here, I will probably not happen anything.

G'night all.

One more?

Well, I can not say I am not used to it, but it always surprises me every time. I was going to write something here earlier today, but I thought "nah, nothing has really happened to me yet" and idled a little more. But not too long ago a person I thought I was very close to - for being me - all of a sudden just... Said good bye and wished me a better life. I think she just quit our friendship. I must say I never saw it coming, and apparently the reason why was that my life is so meaningless and pointless because all I have in my life is a weak and sick body and Foxy.

I mean; I always knew I was no fun, but she visited here not too long ago and we had fun, or so I though. I have no idea what to say. I am getting good byes all the time, but not often like this; so clean cut and without the slightest hint of warning.

I just lost faith in a little bit more of humanity, and in my ability to make friends. I do not know why I am crying, but for some reason I am.

And funny thing is I have no-one to talk to about it either because... The one I had just quit my friendship, the other one does not care the slightest and the third and last one went to Barcelona yesterday.

I think I will go and try to manage this, that feels like a betrayal.

Over and out.