The poor life of an Artist

The bills are paid and I am pleasantly surprised to have more money left than I expected - which is that there IS money left. I was fearing not being able to pay one of the bills, but I did and have a small amount left. I doubt I will be able to make it on those these two weeks until the next payment, but luckily I'm not alone! I have my Foxy to help out. If the money would run out, he has some money too. It is not much, but we aren't gonna eat like kings and horses at the same time. Besides, I get my next payment in two weeks so it should be fine. After that there shouldn't be any money problem what so ever though I probably will have to refill the canned foods, dried foods and grains. But that's fine; it's not like I am in dire need to buy anything else.

The only thing I want is a rice boiler. *dreams away*

I wish I had more money to spend on art, but it seems like I don't. A new computer would be lovely but... Well... money.

I met up with a friend yesterday and I showed him around Uddevalla and brought him to the museum, showed him the baby chicks there. Yes, they have real living Easter chicks there. He bought us (him, me and Foxy) food (Tacos, whee!) so I am really thankful for that; it helped us out a lot. Especially that there were leftover; food for another day, YAY! I have the best of friend while they decide to hang around.


Cheers.

Taking out the trash

Yeah, I was supposed to update every now and then...

Well, I'm doing my internship at the local museum right now, and will until the 31st of may.

We're doing a program to an exhibition, and I am also going to display a comic to that exhibition so everyone look forward to that, ok?

Other than that I guess I'm busy cleaning out this hell hole. We might get company tomorrow so I want a hell-hole that is at least slightly less disgusting.

Gotta get some cleaning stuff for the sink that is clogged (it's been messing with me since I moved in here) so that I can use it soon. Gonna send Foxy on the mission of carrying out the trash. Need to buy a vacuum cleaner bag so that I can vacuum.

Have fun you too!

The discarded

I dreamt about a lost friend tonight. I dreamt her family moved into the same apartment as mine did. She had lost half her weight though and were even twice as skinny as me. Every time we encountered each other she voiced how stupid she thought I was and how everything I did was stupid and meaningless. It hurt.

I know that the reason she stopped being my friend was because I was boring and couldn't bring anything into her life, not to humiliate me or anything. But I will never be able to shake off not being good enough. I really treasured her and thought I had a kindred spirit in her. The heartbreaks of my friends are five hundred thousand times worse than the heartbreaks of lovers. I put a lot of myself into those I treasure and I'd lay down my life for them any time.

I'm not happy with what I am right now, but it's not like I am not trying to change. It's hard being this weak, and horrible to be this pathetic. It was that which scared her away in the first place.

I still have the drawing I got from her displayed in my room. I treasure it dearly though she's almost embarrassed by the quality now (she improves at a great pace).

"Don't walk away!
I just can't find the right things to say."
- Don't walk away, by Headstone.

I guess it lingers so much because I care. It seems the only thing I'm good at these days is loosing people and screwing things up.