Getting commissioned

Guess who's a happycat?

Well, not the pony... But rather the artist who made it; in other words me. I have been commissioned (and paid!) for two ponies now (this is not one of them, the one above is a freebee) and another one is on the way. I'm really glad that people want ponification portraits and can consider paying for them. They are very cheap, basically just covers the material cost, but I'm still getting money! Even if it just was a cent, it's symbolic!

Perhaps it will expand enough for me to make some profit and enable me to live on it a bit one day. That'd be my dream. One can dream, right? But for now, it's enough that some people have bought art from me. My most loyal costumer and several new ones.


The paid ponies:

Well, now I'm off to bed. Night.

Ponies?

So, well...

I just drew some ponies the other day, for no reason what so ever other than that I was inspired by this drawing. And then I went forth to draw one in paint:

And then, also for no specific reason, I drew a personification portrait:

And now I'm thinking about taking commissions for ponies. I'm poor and I really need some extra change, and change is exactly what it'd be. Because if I do the commissions, I'm only gonna take $1-$2 for the inked sketch. And I can consider making banners and all kinds of shiat.

But now I'm gonna go make a journal skin for my DA; I got lucky and got a 3 month subscription for premium membership on DA. Yay! :D

Bai.

Still want to redo the design...

I've been wondering for months now how I'm supposed to make the new design for this blog. I have many ideas, but no complete picture that I feel comfortable with.

Today was only eventful in the sense that I got up at 8am (normally I can't get up before 11-14, depending on when or if I fall asleep), the dirty oven set off the fire alarm, I went to work, but they weren't open today and thus I didn't have to work so I bought loads of candy instead.

I'm a bit bothered by the fact that they don't tell us anything about their open-times. And I have no idea how they plan on getting costumers since it's not up for them to read either. It's a "come and see if we're open or not" kind of thing they're running. They have had extra-open on Sundays several times without informing us, and then had the guts to complain that we hadn't cleaned. Sundays that aren't Sundays after pay-day are our only days off...

So tomorrow I will have to go down there and check if they've been open or not.

I'm actually more relieved that I've been laid off since the contract expired in between the cleaning company that hired me and the coffee shop that hired them. I sure need the money, but it's just a job that takes too much toll on me and doesn't reward me back at all. I've ruined my hands, my shoulder hurts, I never get any information from the shop (like changing the times they are open, extra open event days or that they all of a sudden decided to start building and expecting us to clean up the mess...) they constantly run out of trash bags since they don't order new ones in time, they steal our cleaning equipment and use it up/don't put it back, it ties me down here and makes me unable to go anywhere despite that I only work one hour a day.

Then they decide to not lengthen the contract and lets us know half a month before we're supposed to be out of there.

I can sympathize with them not resigning; that's just plain business. And I did have a colleague that didn't even do the job halfassed, and sometimes didn't show up at all.

It's gonna be fun to see what happens on the monday morning after we've gotten ourselves out of there, and nobody has been cleaning. I'm completely convinced that's what's gonna happen, it isn't the people at the shop that decided the cleaning thing, it's the management above that shop and a few others.

I'm glad I got to work there for exactly one year though. My boss at the cleaning company has been lovely and I can feel proud of at least having worked some and earned a little money (though it's not even half a rent, it's still earned money).


Oh, there was one thing that happened this morning; Well, midnight really but I was asleep then. I got a text message from a person I admire with a greeting from another person I admire. I have no idea how he got my phone number, but now I have got his.


Art-wise,  I'm still working on that vector CD cover. I tried to draw some bunnies for easter, but they turned out so poor, despite having references. Then today I doodled some from my head and it was actually cute. I dunno what that is all about, but lately I do better when I don't have a reference.

Off to bed. Good night.

Vampires don't like spring

Oh lawd did I have the headache of the decade yesterday! I think I had my first migraine.

And to connect with the title; Yesterday I had to go to an Easter-dinner buffet at the social service place I've been attending. Of course I forgot to bring my sunglasses, in a foolish attempt to cope with sunlight anyway. I'm extremely light sensitive, and I could just as well stayed at home stabbing my eyes with knifes. So I had a walk to that place, we had coffee after the dinner on the porch and I took a walk to the bus, then jumped off a bus stop earlier and walked the last bit home. All in order to enjoy the weather to the maximum.

Then I came home, and felt a bit fuzzy in the head so I lad down. When I woke up (in time to go work) I sat up and it felt like someone hit me in the head with a brick. And It kept on all night almost. But when I woke up around 10am today, it had become a little better. It still hurts, but at least I can manage it now.

So, all the work I was gonna put down on this piece:

yesterday well... It didn't happen. I hope to get to work on it later today.

She's not gonna have green hair, it's just a working colour for now. It's gonna be black and have some green shimmering. I'm gonna go see if I can catch me someone to give me some good CC (constructive criticism).

Kthxb

Unemployed

Well, 3rd night at this mentally deserted island (the only alternative nickname is hell-hole) and I actually managed to sleep 3 whole hours tonight! I'm impressed with myself. On the other hand; I was so tired I would have torn out my own hair if I didn't get at least an hour's sleep.

Got a call from my boss yesterday where she said I had to be laid off due to the contract I'm hired on is expired and the ones hiring us doesn't want to renew it. Simple reason. I got to work for a year at least, that's always something and I'm glad for it.

I'm hoping to find some kind of part time job to fill out my economy with. I'm not very picky in the mind, but in the body. The kind of job I could do doesn't exist >_<

I'm finally gonna go home tonight/this afternoon. Although I do like being seclude here, far from everyone else, I don't like the very annoying fact that I can't sleep and I don't have my Foxy.

If I don't get cuddles when I get home, I'm gonna tie him down and... well uh... I don't think I have any good punishments that will work in my favour... But on the other hand, I'm pretty sure I'll get my will's way.

On that mentally deserted island

So, last night I went to my father's place. As usual I didn't get to sleep, but bleh. It was the best night here in a long time. I don't know why I can't sleep here, it's quite frustrating since there's everything comfy here; nice comfy beds, cuddly kittehs and remoteness that gives a nice silence.

I'm gonna stay here until wednesday, since father is working night, and thus I have to check up on my little brother.

I started reading Bleach, I've been avoiding it like the plague after seeing all the fan art, but I've run out of things to read... So I took it up on me to see what it is at least. It feels like reading a comic someone made using the characters in all the fan art, but with a completely different story that has nothing to do with anything. In reality, it's the other way around. Wtf fans, seriously? I'm not trying to deprive the fans of their fanarting or anything but please, I had NO IDEA they used swords, or that it was all about fighting...

And It's way too over hyped, it's a pulling story and it's easy to read, but it doesn't make sense on so many levels and it's frankly not all that. But it's readable.

Now I have taken it up on myself to see if I can draw some fan art that actually could belong to the manga...

(I should probably watch the anime for colour references, but.. meh...)

Nothing more to say really. Gotta go kill the cats, I mean, sing.

Ranting about mind echoes

I really wonder why I have this problem with people who loath me. The problem is that I want to be friends with them, but they can't stand me. I'm really getting on my own nerves with this because I feel so miserably bad in those situations and I just don't know who to talk to. In a way I wished I was still 4 and my mother had been around so I could run to her and go all "mommy mommy, that guy doesn't like me but I want to be friends, what do I do?". Thing is, that never happened, and now I'm way too old for that. I still don't know what to do, or how to get over this "I have to make that person like me" feelings that I get.

In reality, I don't care. It's not my problem or responsibility to please everyone alive. I know that I'm going to be fuck annoying to some no matter what I do, but I just can't stop feeling so bad about it.

I have a recent person who doesn't like me. I'm not gonna say he hates me - like the one that makes me suffer the worse does - but I kinda got the hint when we met. I just thought maybe I could warm him up a bit if I toned down a bit and tried a different approach so that he wouldn't be completely anti me. Like "If that person's coming, then I am NOT". But I guess I misjudged the situation completely. In fact, it's a VERY good thing I kept as far away from him as possible when we had to share a bed-sofa. I thought he was annoyed because he's an insomniac, and I personally know how frustrating it can be when you're really tired but can't sleep for days. But nah, it was me. I was the cause of those arrows of discomfort that seemed to be launched from his body.

In the morning the one we slept over at asked me why I didn't cuddled up to him, since I am a very cuddly-friendly person who usually freeze like it was minus degrees in the room when I'm gonna sleep. I told him it didn't seem like he was in the mood for it and I was just trying to be as quiet as possible to not disturb him.

I guess I'm a bit hurt that I misinterpreted the situation. I'm not blaming him in any way what so ever. I personally find him a very intriguing person that I'd like to dig deeper into in order to hear his thoughts and views on things. It's not his fault that I'm fuck annoying, and don't have an off button.

I'm just disappointed in myself. And there's not much I can do now, other than keep as far away from that person as possible. It's all to respect his space, and to not make me feel worse from annoying him.

I'm ranting here because I just have to get it out of my system. I can get it off my mind without rambling about it. I wish I had someone to rant to, someone who could give me some feedback like "Now you're just being silly" or "You shouldn't do this or that, it'll just make the situation worse". I never had anyone like that. I don't have someone that I can feel "It's us against the world". I want someone like that. Maybe I was supposed to be the voice in someone's head, not an entirely own person.

I'm lonely, and I find myself so annoying, and I know I'm annoying others because I'm annoyed with myself.

Why can't it stop, why can't I stop?