So I've known for a long time that that I'm a bit Buddhist by nature, and thus owning is suffering for me.
One reason is that I just attatch too much to things. It's not really anywhere near unhealthy levels, but I'm a gemini, and freedom is impotant for my psychological wellbeing. Sentients and owning things makes me tied down and will probably cause substantial trauma if forcibly lost - in, let's say a fire.
Another reason is that I have a buch of stuff collecting dust that I don't need or ever use. So instead of having them an annoying element to clean off, I might as well pack up what I don't use but want to save, and throw/give away what I don't want at all.
This serves well for a third reason; I intend to move as soon as possible, and thus I want as little as possible to move.
I'm gonna be so happy once all of this is done. I don't really need to own more than kitchen appliances and tablewear and my electronics.
and it's so much easier to clean without clutter.
G'night and sorry for being so quiet.
Friday, August 31
Saturday, June 23
New ideas
So, while my wrist has been injured, I haven't really drawn... at all.
But I've been inspired to work some with colours and guild wars. We'll see how I do. I don't really wanna draw my own characters but rather just random characters I plucked together. Though I don't really like what I see.
All while the concept in my head is nice, we'll see how it looks when actually drawn by me. If it doesn't end up well, I can always fall back on my old idea with chibi's.
Just for fun, but I really feel like making some nice art.
But I've been inspired to work some with colours and guild wars. We'll see how I do. I don't really wanna draw my own characters but rather just random characters I plucked together. Though I don't really like what I see.
All while the concept in my head is nice, we'll see how it looks when actually drawn by me. If it doesn't end up well, I can always fall back on my old idea with chibi's.
Just for fun, but I really feel like making some nice art.
Thursday, June 14
Inflammation in the Wrist
So...
For the last 4 weeks I've had this pain in my right wrist, it's been sneaking up on me slowly, and reached it's peak two weeks ago, not last weekend, but the weekend before that. The following Tuesday I went to see a doctor. He told me it was an inflammation in the wrist, put me on a 10 day cure with anti-inflammatory painkillers. I'm on day 9 and it still hurts me to tears. It's not one bit better. I do give that with the painkillers I can move my hand a bit and use it somewhat (I can type) but it still hurts. Turning my palm upwards is impossible and having it facing downwards is possible but hurts.
I've had a lot of mild fevers during this last week; from 37,3ºC to 38,1ºC. Note that my normal body temperature is around 36,2ºC.
So this has made me fairly unsociable and frustrated. I'm the type that when in pain becomes restless and flustered. Mostly restless and bored. I want to do things, but I can't since I'm in pain and that makes me frustrated and more restless.
What really annoys me in all of this is: I'm sitting here, about to cry from the pain, but I know that when I wake up tomorrow my wrist is gonna be a lot less painful because of the pill I just took, and I will be all "Maybe I just have to wait out the treatment" and "It doesn't hurt that bad, let's wait and see. Perhaps it's better." which will make me avoid seeing a doctor. I strongly dislike doctors, it's a stress and pain to see them; I feel stupid, ridiculed and not believed. On top of it all, I'm the kind who goes "if it's not bothering me right now it doesn't exist" which is also how doctors are; can't see it, it doesn't exist. So while at the doctors, I draw a blank and I can't voice my pains.
And no matter how much I try to push on how extremely lethargic I feel and the constant malaise, they act as if they didn't hear me.
I want to see a doctor now, but it's almost 10PM so I have to visit an emergency room if I want to meet one, and those doctors are the worse ones! In a way I hope it hurts this much in the morning too so that I really get taken seriously.
Dang it, I have to stop typing... I'm crying.
For the last 4 weeks I've had this pain in my right wrist, it's been sneaking up on me slowly, and reached it's peak two weeks ago, not last weekend, but the weekend before that. The following Tuesday I went to see a doctor. He told me it was an inflammation in the wrist, put me on a 10 day cure with anti-inflammatory painkillers. I'm on day 9 and it still hurts me to tears. It's not one bit better. I do give that with the painkillers I can move my hand a bit and use it somewhat (I can type) but it still hurts. Turning my palm upwards is impossible and having it facing downwards is possible but hurts.
I've had a lot of mild fevers during this last week; from 37,3ºC to 38,1ºC. Note that my normal body temperature is around 36,2ºC.
So this has made me fairly unsociable and frustrated. I'm the type that when in pain becomes restless and flustered. Mostly restless and bored. I want to do things, but I can't since I'm in pain and that makes me frustrated and more restless.
What really annoys me in all of this is: I'm sitting here, about to cry from the pain, but I know that when I wake up tomorrow my wrist is gonna be a lot less painful because of the pill I just took, and I will be all "Maybe I just have to wait out the treatment" and "It doesn't hurt that bad, let's wait and see. Perhaps it's better." which will make me avoid seeing a doctor. I strongly dislike doctors, it's a stress and pain to see them; I feel stupid, ridiculed and not believed. On top of it all, I'm the kind who goes "if it's not bothering me right now it doesn't exist" which is also how doctors are; can't see it, it doesn't exist. So while at the doctors, I draw a blank and I can't voice my pains.
And no matter how much I try to push on how extremely lethargic I feel and the constant malaise, they act as if they didn't hear me.
I want to see a doctor now, but it's almost 10PM so I have to visit an emergency room if I want to meet one, and those doctors are the worse ones! In a way I hope it hurts this much in the morning too so that I really get taken seriously.
Dang it, I have to stop typing... I'm crying.
Wednesday, June 6
My Name
I get this question a lot, so I figured I'd just make an entry about it, to link people whenever it happens online (real life still requires individual explanations) and be relived of repeating myself.
The story behind the name
September 2003 I became desperate for a nickname, as I quite abhorred my given name already back then. I was also searching for a suitable stage name, as I was certain I was destined to live my life in the name of various arts. So I made up this name, with the idea that it would match the nickname of my best friend as I thought we were destined to be soul-mates for the rest of our lives and of course we'd rock the world in the same band.
I liked what I created, and felt right at home with my new given name. Incorporating it was a bit of a challenge since everyone I knew called me by my given name or a common nickname for people with that name. That issue would turn out to fix itself as I was thrown out of junior high for being too bullied. So, after changing schools I only introduced myself with my new name and would not really speak of my name ever again.
After not very long, I came to despise my given name so much that I would not even be able to say it out loud. I even used a fame name or one of my middle names when I worked because I just couldn't out and say it. So at the day I turned 18, I was ready with the papers for changing one's name legally, and I submitted it. With that I removed two of my names; my given name completely eliminated and a spare surname my mother had added when I was around 10 or so to try and stop bullying, only to fuel it on even more. All that was left was my two middle names (which I had nothing against apart from their genus) and my father's and my original surname, plus my new first name.
Some FAQ
Q: Where does it origin from?
A: I made it up, I was inspired by nothing. I just sat on the floor in my room and thought it up.
Q: Are you really Swedish?
A: Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: I'm half Swedish, 1/4 Danish and 1/4 Finnish. My paternal grandparents are from Denmark and Finland. I take after my Finnish grandma a lot and could probably pass for a finn apart from the fact that I can't say much more than "minun siskat koira nimi on Tessan" (which is supposed to mean "my sister's dog is names Tessan") with probably a really bad pronunciation. But practically, I'm as Swedish as you can get. Non of my grandparents have shared any heritage because in Sweden, we are swedes.
Q: Why did you remove your given name?
A: I loath it.
Q: What was your given name?
A: I can't tell you.
Q: So it's not middle eastern?
A: Not. One. Bit.
Now I've come to realize that I won't become the androgynous shock-rocker I wanted to be, but I haven't given up my dream, I'm just regrouping.
(I might edit this post as I receive more questions)
The story behind the name
September 2003 I became desperate for a nickname, as I quite abhorred my given name already back then. I was also searching for a suitable stage name, as I was certain I was destined to live my life in the name of various arts. So I made up this name, with the idea that it would match the nickname of my best friend as I thought we were destined to be soul-mates for the rest of our lives and of course we'd rock the world in the same band.
I liked what I created, and felt right at home with my new given name. Incorporating it was a bit of a challenge since everyone I knew called me by my given name or a common nickname for people with that name. That issue would turn out to fix itself as I was thrown out of junior high for being too bullied. So, after changing schools I only introduced myself with my new name and would not really speak of my name ever again.
After not very long, I came to despise my given name so much that I would not even be able to say it out loud. I even used a fame name or one of my middle names when I worked because I just couldn't out and say it. So at the day I turned 18, I was ready with the papers for changing one's name legally, and I submitted it. With that I removed two of my names; my given name completely eliminated and a spare surname my mother had added when I was around 10 or so to try and stop bullying, only to fuel it on even more. All that was left was my two middle names (which I had nothing against apart from their genus) and my father's and my original surname, plus my new first name.
Some FAQ
Q: Where does it origin from?
A: I made it up, I was inspired by nothing. I just sat on the floor in my room and thought it up.
Q: Are you really Swedish?
A: Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: I'm half Swedish, 1/4 Danish and 1/4 Finnish. My paternal grandparents are from Denmark and Finland. I take after my Finnish grandma a lot and could probably pass for a finn apart from the fact that I can't say much more than "minun siskat koira nimi on Tessan" (which is supposed to mean "my sister's dog is names Tessan") with probably a really bad pronunciation. But practically, I'm as Swedish as you can get. Non of my grandparents have shared any heritage because in Sweden, we are swedes.
Q: Why did you remove your given name?
A: I loath it.
Q: What was your given name?
A: I can't tell you.
Q: So it's not middle eastern?
A: Not. One. Bit.
Now I've come to realize that I won't become the androgynous shock-rocker I wanted to be, but I haven't given up my dream, I'm just regrouping.
(I might edit this post as I receive more questions)
Monday, April 16
So I've been doing some more practice on anatomy, and I thought I'd provide you with some of the progress:
And for the sake of doodling:
And just for some more proper practice I borrowed my guild leader's character and drew her a bit sexily.
So I know I have much to learn in the hip-ass-groin area, but I'm better now than before. Also, I think I'm getting better at drawing legs.
Now if I colour this or not, I am yet to decide.
Now, onto whatever I wasn't doing.
And for the sake of doodling:
And just for some more proper practice I borrowed my guild leader's character and drew her a bit sexily.
Now if I colour this or not, I am yet to decide.
Now, onto whatever I wasn't doing.
Tuesday, April 10
Need Moar Nekkid Gurls
Today I've done a lot of female anatomy training. Not very nice results but better than when I started today. You don't get to see it though since it's naked (and mostly awkward and ugly) along with that I'm terribly lazy.
I really hope we buy a new computer soon so I can actually draw whenever I want to digitally. I can shoo Foxy from the big computer, but it's so annoying to set up... takes so much time I loose interest in drawing, especially if it's just doodles.
Finding references for naked girls is hard, especially if you don't want to look at porn.
At least I found a good youtube channel in learning how to draw girls.
More pics to come soon, I hope.
I really hope we buy a new computer soon so I can actually draw whenever I want to digitally. I can shoo Foxy from the big computer, but it's so annoying to set up... takes so much time I loose interest in drawing, especially if it's just doodles.
Finding references for naked girls is hard, especially if you don't want to look at porn.
At least I found a good youtube channel in learning how to draw girls.
More pics to come soon, I hope.
Sunday, April 1
April's fool
My Aprils fool on myself was thinking it was April 2nd today.
Yesterday I got this huge craving and hunger for mashed potatoes and lingonberry jam. I had no potatoes so I had to wait until night when I was meeting a friend to buy the potatoes. I barely made it to the store as we arrived there two minutes before it closed. I sneaked passed the security guy just as he was heading to the door to lock it. it's the first time I make mashed potatoes at home, and I did notice the fail in my masher being in plastic. I thought it'd be sturdier. So I suppose I need to get a proper one someday soon.
What was less nice yesterday though was that an acquaintance of mine and the roomie of my friend got attacked and beaten by a gang of guys, provoked only by her appearance; pink hair and chubby. It makes me so angry that guys do that. They deserve having their balls ripped of because they definitely don't need it. Or use them.
I'm gonna leave it at that and be happy about booking a time to meet up with my best friend. We haven't met this year at all, and I do miss him a lot.
Now onto drawing nakkid gurls.
Yesterday I got this huge craving and hunger for mashed potatoes and lingonberry jam. I had no potatoes so I had to wait until night when I was meeting a friend to buy the potatoes. I barely made it to the store as we arrived there two minutes before it closed. I sneaked passed the security guy just as he was heading to the door to lock it. it's the first time I make mashed potatoes at home, and I did notice the fail in my masher being in plastic. I thought it'd be sturdier. So I suppose I need to get a proper one someday soon.
What was less nice yesterday though was that an acquaintance of mine and the roomie of my friend got attacked and beaten by a gang of guys, provoked only by her appearance; pink hair and chubby. It makes me so angry that guys do that. They deserve having their balls ripped of because they definitely don't need it. Or use them.
I'm gonna leave it at that and be happy about booking a time to meet up with my best friend. We haven't met this year at all, and I do miss him a lot.
Now onto drawing nakkid gurls.
Thursday, March 29
Design draft
I have gotten my first cold of the year, and I'm almost back to health now. Not fun.
Today I've sketched together a design that I'm gonna work on. This is what it looks like so far:
Now the commissioner wants it to be a bit different, and I'm gonna edit it that way. Note that this is a picture, not a print-screen of the codes. I didn't bother trying to make anything proper image-wise since it's just a sketch.
I woke up early tonight and couldn't fall asleep again, so I did some picture editing for my friend, so that he can make a new blog design. I hope he's happy with what I did, but I won't know for a while since he's not online yet.
For the rest of the day I suppose a nice warm shower and some gameing training awaits me.
Today I've sketched together a design that I'm gonna work on. This is what it looks like so far:
Now the commissioner wants it to be a bit different, and I'm gonna edit it that way. Note that this is a picture, not a print-screen of the codes. I didn't bother trying to make anything proper image-wise since it's just a sketch.
I woke up early tonight and couldn't fall asleep again, so I did some picture editing for my friend, so that he can make a new blog design. I hope he's happy with what I did, but I won't know for a while since he's not online yet.
For the rest of the day I suppose a nice warm shower and some gameing training awaits me.
Saturday, March 24
Webdesign?
I got this urge to get back on my webdesigning. I'm making a design for a friend, without her knowledge. Just for the sake of practice. I don't know if she'll want to use it, but I would be happy if she did. (That means my design in pleasing her)
So far all I can share is this one pic:
And it's yet to be coloured. I'm too slow and tired to be bothered with that atm. I get really demotivated when I have to use my laptop to draw; it constantly crashes because the RAM is broken and it tries to compensate by using the hard-drive's memory, which isn't enough.
I will be doing more anatomy practice some time soon. I hope.
Well, that's it for today I assume.
So far all I can share is this one pic:
And it's yet to be coloured. I'm too slow and tired to be bothered with that atm. I get really demotivated when I have to use my laptop to draw; it constantly crashes because the RAM is broken and it tries to compensate by using the hard-drive's memory, which isn't enough.
I will be doing more anatomy practice some time soon. I hope.
Well, that's it for today I assume.
Monday, March 19
Brownie in a Mug
So, a while ago I found this recipe at 9GAG for a brownie in a mug. I didn't save it but liked the idea. So yesterday I googled it and made one. It was tasty, so I made one today too. Easy, nommy!
Recipe:
1 normal mug
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa powder (the real deal, not anything with sugar in it like O'boy or drink mix)
2 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons vegetable-oil (any kind with neutral taste; I use rape-oil *hurr hurr*)
a tiiiny dash of salt
You mix the dry ingredients first, make sure you even out the flour-lumps and mix them in (scrape the bottom of the cup well!) then you add the water and oil. Once again, mix well and make sure to look for lumps because they taste bad if you leave them in. I prefer to use sliiightly less than a full oil tablespoon to minimum the oil taste.
Heat in microwave for 1-1½ min. Full heat and it's supposed to be a bit creamy in the middle when done.
Enjoy! Easy baking!
One cup should be enough to quench your thirst for sweets. If it doesn't, you need to learn to settle with that or else, you will get fat.
So I'm still waiting to get my laundry outta there... only about 1h 15min until I can get down there... Bleh. Contemplating watching gw videos or taking a shower...
G'night.
Recipe:
1 normal mug
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa powder (the real deal, not anything with sugar in it like O'boy or drink mix)
2 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons vegetable-oil (any kind with neutral taste; I use rape-oil *hurr hurr*)
a tiiiny dash of salt
You mix the dry ingredients first, make sure you even out the flour-lumps and mix them in (scrape the bottom of the cup well!) then you add the water and oil. Once again, mix well and make sure to look for lumps because they taste bad if you leave them in. I prefer to use sliiightly less than a full oil tablespoon to minimum the oil taste.
Heat in microwave for 1-1½ min. Full heat and it's supposed to be a bit creamy in the middle when done.
Enjoy! Easy baking!
 |
| It's tasty I pwomise. |
One cup should be enough to quench your thirst for sweets. If it doesn't, you need to learn to settle with that or else, you will get fat.
So I'm still waiting to get my laundry outta there... only about 1h 15min until I can get down there... Bleh. Contemplating watching gw videos or taking a shower...
G'night.
Sunday, March 18
Erp
Um, yes... Update!
The days really melt into one another when your day goes passed two days....
Today was a not so nice day. Woke up to go do laundry, and once down there, I find a man using one of my booked machines and he has trouble turning it off mid-program. So I'm late at putting in my laundry. I put it in, return to my apartment to prepare the next round, go down to manage the machine, realize that I'm not gonna make it before nine o'clock but I believe I can run it as long as I can at least. Wrong.
Nine sharp (not 21:15 as it normally shuts off) the power is cut and I sigh, grab my still wet sheets from the dryer and attend to the washing machine. Only it won't open. the digital screen is all black and no button responds and the door is thoroughly locked. Great. The laundry room is closed on Sundays. After almost breaking the door of the machine, I give up and exit. I leave after booking a time on Monday morning first thing it opens.
So Monday morning before work I have to rewash that machine and hope the clothes haven't moulded.
*sigh*
At least I got my sheets out of there, and thank goodness I didn't was the set I'm dressing the bed with right now, because ALL my sheets are wet.
Oh well.
- Over and out.
The days really melt into one another when your day goes passed two days....
Today was a not so nice day. Woke up to go do laundry, and once down there, I find a man using one of my booked machines and he has trouble turning it off mid-program. So I'm late at putting in my laundry. I put it in, return to my apartment to prepare the next round, go down to manage the machine, realize that I'm not gonna make it before nine o'clock but I believe I can run it as long as I can at least. Wrong.
Nine sharp (not 21:15 as it normally shuts off) the power is cut and I sigh, grab my still wet sheets from the dryer and attend to the washing machine. Only it won't open. the digital screen is all black and no button responds and the door is thoroughly locked. Great. The laundry room is closed on Sundays. After almost breaking the door of the machine, I give up and exit. I leave after booking a time on Monday morning first thing it opens.
So Monday morning before work I have to rewash that machine and hope the clothes haven't moulded.
*sigh*
At least I got my sheets out of there, and thank goodness I didn't was the set I'm dressing the bed with right now, because ALL my sheets are wet.
Oh well.
- Over and out.
Saturday, March 10
Long time no see
I have a bad habit of getting embarrassed when I have been idling around with something and end up procrastinating it even further.
This blog is an example. First I had nothing to tell, then I felt bad for not updating and then the vicious circle of not updating went on.
I still don't have much to say, but I'll try to peek in some at least. If nothign else, for my art's sake.
So if you're still around, I'll be comming back now. O-mata se shimashita.
This blog is an example. First I had nothing to tell, then I felt bad for not updating and then the vicious circle of not updating went on.
I still don't have much to say, but I'll try to peek in some at least. If nothign else, for my art's sake.
So if you're still around, I'll be comming back now. O-mata se shimashita.
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