New ideas

So, while my wrist has been injured, I haven't really drawn... at all.

But I've been inspired to work some with colours and guild wars. We'll see how I do. I don't really wanna draw my own characters but rather just random characters I plucked together. Though I don't really like what I see.

All while the concept in my head is nice, we'll see how it looks when actually drawn by me. If it doesn't end up well, I can always fall back on my old idea with chibi's.

Just for fun, but I really feel like making some nice art.

Inflammation in the Wrist

So...

For the last 4 weeks I've had this pain in my right wrist, it's been sneaking up on me slowly, and reached it's peak two weeks ago, not last weekend, but the weekend before that. The following Tuesday I went to see a doctor. He told me it was an inflammation in the wrist, put me on a 10 day cure with anti-inflammatory painkillers. I'm on day 9 and it still hurts me to tears. It's not one bit better. I do give that with the painkillers I can move my hand a bit and use it somewhat (I can type) but it still hurts. Turning my palm upwards is impossible and having it facing downwards is possible but hurts.

I've had a lot of mild fevers during this last week; from 37,3ºC to 38,1ºC. Note that my normal body temperature is around 36,2ºC.

So this has made me fairly unsociable and frustrated. I'm the type that when in pain becomes restless and flustered. Mostly restless and bored. I want to do things, but I can't since I'm in pain and that makes me frustrated and more restless.

What really annoys me in all of this is: I'm sitting here, about to cry from the pain, but I know that when I wake up tomorrow my wrist is gonna be a lot less painful because of the pill I just took, and I will be all "Maybe I just have to wait out the treatment" and "It doesn't hurt that bad, let's wait and see. Perhaps it's better." which will make me avoid seeing a doctor. I strongly dislike doctors, it's a stress and pain to see them; I feel stupid, ridiculed and not believed. On top of it all, I'm the kind who goes "if it's not bothering me right now it doesn't exist" which is also how doctors are; can't see it, it doesn't exist. So while at the doctors, I draw a blank and I can't voice my pains.

And no matter how much I try to push on how extremely lethargic I feel and the constant malaise, they act as if they didn't hear me.

I want to see a doctor now, but it's almost 10PM so I have to visit an emergency room if I want to meet one, and those doctors are the worse ones! In a way I hope it hurts this much in the morning too so that I really get taken seriously.

Dang it, I have to stop typing... I'm crying.

My Name

I get this question a lot, so I figured I'd just make an entry about it, to link people whenever it happens online (real life still requires individual explanations) and be relived of repeating myself.


The story behind the name
September 2003 I became desperate for a nickname, as I quite abhorred my given name already back then. I was also searching for a suitable stage name, as I was certain I was destined to live my life in the name of various arts. So I made up this name, with the idea that it would match the nickname of my best friend as I thought we were destined to be soul-mates for the rest of our lives and of course we'd rock the world in the same band.

I liked what I created, and felt right at home with my new given name. Incorporating it was a bit of a challenge since everyone I knew called me by my given name or a common nickname for people with that name. That issue would turn out to fix itself as I was thrown out of junior high for being too bullied. So, after changing schools I only introduced myself with my new name and would not really speak of my name ever again.

After not very long, I came to despise my given name so much that I would not even be able to say it out loud. I even used a fame name or one of my middle names when I worked because I just couldn't out and say it. So at the day I turned 18, I was ready with the papers for changing one's name legally, and I submitted it. With that I removed two of my names; my given name completely eliminated and a spare surname my mother had added when I was around 10 or so to try and stop bullying, only to fuel it on even more. All that was left was my two middle names (which I had nothing against apart from their genus) and my father's and my original surname, plus my new first name.


Some FAQ


Q: Where does it origin from?
A: I made it up, I was inspired by nothing. I just sat on the floor in my room and thought it up.

Q: Are you really Swedish?
A: Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: I'm half Swedish, 1/4 Danish and 1/4 Finnish. My paternal grandparents are from Denmark and Finland. I take after my Finnish grandma a lot and could probably pass for a finn apart from the fact that I can't say much more than "minun siskat koira nimi on Tessan" (which is supposed to mean "my sister's dog is names Tessan") with probably a really bad pronunciation. But practically, I'm as Swedish as you can get. Non of my grandparents have shared any heritage because in Sweden, we are swedes.

Q: Why did you remove your given name?
A: I loath it.

Q: What was your given name?
A: I can't tell you.

Q: So it's not middle eastern?
A: Not. One. Bit.

Now I've come to realize that I won't become the androgynous shock-rocker I wanted to be, but I haven't given up my dream, I'm just regrouping.

(I might edit this post as I receive more questions)