I hate doctors and the government

Something is really wrong when dying is more attractive than living, and you actually WANT to live so badly that you keep a mantra of "I want to live! I want to live!" whenever you're feeling bad.

I am so terribly sick and tired of doctors and hospitals! They keep pushing me around and I never get any help! I desperately need to get part time put as sick, and what I need even more is to find out what's wrong with this useless piece of s*it body that I have, and repair it so that I can get energy enough to at least be alert and awake for 8 hours a day.

Both the Unemployment centre and the social services wants me half time on sick leave, but the doctors won't even touch me. They don't seem to understand that you can't be ill and work at the same time, because if they worked 25% they'd earn more than I could earn even if I found someone to hire me 100%. I'd get fired after three months though, but WHO CARES ABOUT THAT?

As long as I'm ill I can't study either, so even though I have the mind and aspirations to become high educated, I can't. OH YEAH! Make sure I'll never contribute t the society, and then kill myself with the motivation "I wanted to LIVE" and thus every single penny spent on me has been a waste. Way to go government!

Grr mrrr grawr...